Business Jokes

- Patient: It must be tough spending all day with your hands in someone's mouth.

- Dentist: I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet.

- Detective: How did you get into counterfeiting?

- Criminal: I answered an ad that said, "Make money at home."

A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from an exclusive jewelry store. "Listen," said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy the watch, and we forget about this?"

The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, "This is a little more than I intended to spend. Can you show me something less expensive?"

Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain?
→ He has got no beef.

Where did the bull carry his stock-market report?
→ In his beef case!

Is there big money in the cattle business?
→ So I've herd!

A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination.

On the paper there was a single line which simply said: "Is this a question?" - Discuss.

After a short time he wrote: "If that is a question, then this is an answer."

The student received an "A" on the exam.

A Boston brokerage house advertised for a "young Harvard graduate or the equivalent."

Among the inquiries received was one from a Yale grad. He said, "Do you mean two Princeton men, or a Yale man part time?"

A college student in a philosophy class was taking his first examination.

On the paper there was a single line which simply said: "Is this a question?" - Discuss.

After a short time he wrote: "If that is a question, then this is an answer."

The student received an "A" on the exam.

A Boston brokerage house advertised for a "young Harvard graduate or the equivalent."

Among the inquiries received was one from a Yale grad. He said, "Do you mean two Princeton men, or a Yale man part time?"

What is Clinton's plan to create thousands of small businesses?
→ Take thousands of big businesses and wait four years.

What will Bill's favorite retail outlet be after his economic blueprint takes effect?
→ Everything's $100.