At Work

One day Mikey was sitting in his apartment when his doorbell unexpectedly rang. He answered the door and found a salesman standing on his porch with a strange object.

"What is that?" Mikey asked. "It's a thermos," the salesman replied. "What does it do?" asked Mikey. "This baby," the salesman said, "keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."

After some deliberation Mikey bought one, deciding it would really help his lunch situation. The next day he arrived at the plant where he works. Sure enough, all the other employees were curious about his new object. "What is it?" they asked.

"It's a thermos," Mikey replied.

"What does it do?" they asked.

"Well," Mikey says in a bragging manner, "It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold."

"What do ya got in it?"

To which Mikey says, "Three cups of coffee and a popsicle."

A traveling salesman was held up by a bad storm in the Hawaiian Islands. He sent an e-mail to his corporate headquarters advising them that he was stranded for a few days and requested instructions.

The reply came back shortly: "Begin vacation as of yesterday."

A salesman who was out on his territory had a heart attack in his motel room and died. The motel manager called the salesman's company and related the tragedy to the sales manager.

The sales manager received the news in a nonchalant manner and told the motel manager, "Return his samples by freight and search his pants for orders."

Eulus stood in front of the take-out window of a Rawl-ins fast food restaurant. "I want two hamburgers," he said. "One with onions, and one without."

The counter man: "Okay. Which one's without the onions?"

How many McDonald's counter girls does it take to change a light bulb?
→ Two. One to change it and one to put some chips with it.

How many cafeteria staff does it take to change a light bulb?
→ "Sorry, we closed 18 seconds ago, and I've just cashed up."

Why did the rabbits go on strike?
→ They wanted a better celery!

- Police Chief: As a recruit, you'll be faced with some difficult issues. What would you do if you had to arrest your mother?

- New Recruit: Call for backup!

What would happen if pigs went on strike?
→ They'd form pigget lines.

I told you not to let those pigs in my office.

Now, look what's happened.
They've eaten all the dates off my calendar!