Newest jokes

What do tigers wear in bed?
→ Stripey pyjamas!

How do you know when there is an elephant under your bed?
→ When your nose touches the ceiling!

What should you do if you find a 500-pound dog asleep on your bed?
→ Sleep on the sofa.

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Bed!

- Bed who?

- Bed you can't guess who I am!

I woke up, went for a walk, my head fell off and rolled away. I picked it up and put it on. A child walked up to me and said:

- Good grief, where are your feet?

I must have left them in bed!

Why did the man take a pencil to bed?
→ To draw the curtains!

Why did the boy take the ruler to bed?
→ He wanted to see how long he slept.

Why did the kid punch the bed?
→ His mother told him to hit the hay.

When is your mind like a rumpled bed?
→ When it isn't made up yet.

When does a bed grow longer?
→ At night, because two feet are added to it.