Newest jokes

What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Elvis?
→ Elvis was drafted and served proudly in the Army.

What does Bill Clinton have in common with former great Presidents?
→ Absolutely nothing.

When did Clinton's friends become sure that he had political ambitions?
→ When he married outside of his family.

What do you get when you cross a crooked politician with a dishonest lawyer?
→ Chelsea Clinton

Why did Clinton waffle on military action in Bosnia?
→ His area of expertise is dodging armed conflict.

What has Clinton done that no one has been able to do in the last 5 years?
→ Unite the Republican Party.

What is the first thing that President Clinton says after waking up?
→ Good morning, Bill.

If Ted Kennedy, Dan Quayle, Bob Packwood and Bill Clinton all had a spelling contest, which one would win?
→ Dan Quayle. He's the only one who knows that harass is one word.

One day there were these three boys walking down the street, all of a sudden they heard a yell:

- HELP! HELP!

When the boys got to the noise they saw Bill Clinton in a lake drowning. The three boys saved him from drowning. Bill Clinton asks the first boy how he could ever repay him. The boy said:

- I want a boat.

The second boy said:

- I want a truck.

And the third boy said:

- I want three tombstones with are names all on them.

Bill Clinton said:

- why is that son?

The little boy said:

- because when my Dad finds out that we saved you, he is going to kill us all!

How did Bill and Hillary Clinton first meet?
→ They were both dating the same girl in high school.