Newest jokes

How do ghosts fly from one place to another?
→ By scareplane.

One night, after closing time a barman is sitting at his bar minding his own business, when a spectral hound floats in through the door. The barman, being an exceptionally cool kind of guy, asks "Yeah, what do you want?". The phantom hound explains, in a haunting voice, "I've lost my tail...... and cannot rest until a kindly barman stitches it back-on". At this request the barman stands back astonished and says to the phantom dog..... "Sorry, but we don't re-tail spirits at this time of night".

Which ghost sailed the seven seas looking for rubbish and blubber?
→ The ghost of BinBag the Whaler.

Why were the ghosts wet and tired?
→ They had just dread-ged the lake.

Which day of the week do ghosts like best?
→ Moandays.

What sort of violin does a ghost play?
→ A dreadivarius.

Why don't ghosts make good magicians?
→ You can see right through their tricks.

When do ghosts play tricks on each other?
→ On April Ghoul's Day.

What is a ghost's favorite Wild West town?
→ Tombstone.

What did the mother ghost say to the naughty baby ghost?
→ Spook when you're spooken to.