Newest jokes

Where did the burgers go after their wedding?
→ On a bun-eymoon!

- Hey, you just shot my wife.

- I'm so sorry, have a shot at mine!

- She was two thirds married once.

- What do you mean?

- Well, she turned up, the Minster turned up, but the groom didn't!

Why was the broom late?
→ It over swept!

Why did the 280-pound girl marry the 400-pound man?
→ She wanted a big wedding.

Why is a bride always out of luck on her wedding day?
→ Because she never marries the best man.

Marriage is a three-ring circus:

Engagement ring...

Wedding ring...

Suffering!!!

- Young Actor: Dad, guess what? I've just got my first part in a play. I play the part of a man who's been married for 30 years.

- Father: Well, keep at it, son. Maybe one day you'll get a speaking part.

A woman was in court charged with wounding her husband:

- But why did you stab him over a hundred times? - asked the judge.

- Oh, your Honor, - replied the defendant,

- I didn't know how to switch off the electric carving knife.

- Today is my twenty-fifth wedding anniversary.

- Really?

- Yes, I've been married twenty-five times!