Guest
Maxwell's Sleepless Night
When Mr. Maxwell's wife left him he couldn't sleep.
- She took the bed!
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Guest
Nature's Way
Marriage is nature's way of preventing people from fighting with strangers.
Guest
Four Husbands
Two ladies were hanging out together and one was depressed.
- What's wrong?
The depressed one replied:
- I've been married four times and everyone of my husbands has passed away.
The other lady asked:
- What did they used to do?
The depressed lady replied:
- Well, my first husband was a millionaire, the second was a magician, the third was an evangelist, and the fourth was a mortician.
And the other said:
- Oh, one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.
Guest
Honeymoon Meaning
Do you know what is honeymoon?
→ A short period of doting between dating and debting.
Guest
Six-Day Honeymoon
Why should a honeymoon only be six days?
→ Because seven days makes a whole week.
Guest
Honeymoon Defined
What is honeymoon?
→ That brief span of time between, "I do" and "You'd better!"
Guest
Too Extravagant
My wife sez that I'm too extravagant; that if anything ever happens to her, I'll have to beg. I told her I'd be fine. I mean look at all the experience I've got.
Guest
Portrait With Jewels
A woman decided to have her portrait painted.
She told the artist:
- Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant.
- But you are not wearing any of those things.
- I know - she said.
- It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go nuts looking for the jewelry.
Guest
Spicing Up Marriage
- The thrill is gone from my marriage - Brian told his best friend Mike.
- Why not add some intrigue to your life, and have an affair? - his friend suggested.
- But what if my wife finds out?
- Heck, we are almost on the begining of the 21st centrury, Brian. Go ahead and tell her about it!
So Brian went home and said:
- Dear, I think an affair will bring us closer together.
- Forget it - said his wife.
- I've tried that many times - it never worked.
Guest
Last Notice
Wife, opening mail, to spouse: "The bank says that this is our last notice. Isn't it wonderful that they're not going to bother us anymore?"