A tourist is sightseeing in a European city. She comes upon the tomb of Beethoven, and begins reading the commerative plaque, only to be distracted by a low scratching noise, as if something was rubbing against a piece of paper.
She collars a passing native and asks what the scratching sound is.
The local person replies:
- Oh, that is Beethoven. He's decomposing.
Fritz Kriesler and Rachmaninov had a recital in Carnegie Hall once. In the middle of the music, Kriesler got lost and turned around to ask Rachmaninov:
- Where are we?
Rachmaninov said:
- Carnegie Hall, sir!
What do you call a male quartet?
→ Three men and a tenor.
What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?
→ A pair of Re-bachs.
What's musical and handy in a supermarket?
→ A Chopin Liszt.
Why don't they know where Mozart is buried?
→ Because he's Haydn!
How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
→ Seven; one to change and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
→ Twenty. 1 to hold the bulb, 2 to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
How many bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ Two. One to screw it in, and one to complain that it's electrified.
What do you get if Bach falls off a horse, but has the courage to get on again and continue riding?
→ Bach in the saddle again.
