Newest jokes

Why is the government like a prostitute?
→ Your always getting screwed and you have to pay for it!

A hundred prostitutes in Washington D.C. were asked if they would ever sleep with President Clinton. 60% said, 'Never again!'

If Ted Kennedy, Dan Quayle, Bob Packwood and Bill Clinton all had a spelling contest, which one would win?
→ Dan Quayle. He's the only one who knows that harass is one word.

What is the difference between the government and the Mafia?
→ One of them is organized.

Whats the difference between Monica and a Soda machine?
→ They both have, "incert Bill"!

One day Clinton goes to the bathroom, pulls down his pants, and much to his amazement, he finds a red ring around his penis. So the next day he goes to his physician and the doctor says:

- I cant figure out what it is. So I'll give you some medicine, and if it doesn't work, come back. Ill give you something else.

So clinton takes the perscription and takes the pills as directed and comes back in 2 weeks. The physician then hands him a different prescription and he comes back in 3 weeks this time. Then, instead of giving him a prescription he gives him a small tube-like capsule. The doctor says:

- Rub this around the offending circle and come back tomorrow.

Clinton returns the next day and starts shouting:

- Wow! That stuff was terriffic doc! What was thast concoction? It worked great!

The docter then calmly replied:

- Lipstick remover.

What does Ted Kennedy have that Bill Clinton wishes he had??
→ An ex-wife and a dead girl friend.

The FBI finally came back with the DNA results.

Clinton was a perfect match.

So was all of Arkansas.

Did you hear the latest theory about Monica Lewinsky?
→ It may never be proven but they think she may be the youngest woman to have ever held the Presidency.

What has four legs and smells like fish?
→ Clinton's desk.