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As supposedly reported on CNN: Undercover police, staging the wedding of "a drug kingpin's daughter", let it be known on the street that dealers were "invited" (i. e. Expected to attend).

The bride and groom were police, as was the band, bartender, and about half the guests. The band playing at the wedding was "S. P. O. C." (COPS, backwards), and the wedding went through the full ceremony, including the dancing afterward.

The long-sought dealers were arrested after the "band" took their break. The last song the band played before taking its break?

- I Fought The Law, And The Law Won

A dietician was once addressing a large audience in Chicago. "The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all of us eat it. Can anyone here tell me what lethal product I'm referring to? You, sir, in the first row, please give us your idea."

The man lowered his head and said:

- Wedding cake.

A man really loved a woman, but he was just too shy to propose to her. Now he was up in his years and neither of them had ever been married. Of course, they dated about once a week for the past six years, but he was so timid he just never got around to suggesting marriage much less living together.

But one day, he became determined to ask her the question. So he calls her on the phone:

- June.

- Yes, this is June.

- Will you marry me?

- Of course I will! Who's this?

A psychiatrist visited a California mental institution and asked a patient:

- How did you get here? What was the nature of your illness?

He got the following reply.

"Well, it all started when I got married and I guess I should never have done it. I married a widow with a grown daughter who then became my stepdaughter.

My dad came to visit us, fell in love with my lovely stepdaughter, then married her. And so my stepdaughter was now my stepmother. Soon, my wife had a son who was, of course, my daddy's brother-in-law since he is the half-brother of my stepdaughter, who is now, of course, my daddy's wife.

So, as I told you, when my stepdaughter married my daddy, she was at once my stepmother! Now, since my new son is brother to my stepmother, he also became my uncle. As you know, my wife is my step-grandmother since she is my stepmother's mother. Don't forget that my stepmother is my stepdaughter. Remember, too, that I am my wife's grandson.

But hold on just a few minutes more. You see, since I'm married to my step-grandmother, I am not only the wife's grandson and her hubby, but I am also my own grandfather. Now can you understand how I got put in this place?"

After staring blanky with a dizzy look on his face, the psychiatrist replied:

- Move over!

In olden times, it is reported that sacrifices were made at the altar.

Since then, weddings have been held there, and times haven't changed at all!

Jack was living in Arizona during a heat wave when the following took place:

- It's just too hot to wear clothes today - complained Jack as he stepped out of the shower.

- Honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?

- Probably that I married you for your money.

A recent survey done by marriage experts shows that the most common form of marriage proposal these days consists of the words: "You're what?!?"

Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he said to his wife: "When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones."

- Wife: No, I can't marry anyone after you.

- Johnson: But I want you to.

- Wife: But why?

- Johnson: Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!

What Exactly Is Marriage?
→ Marriage is when you get to keep your girl and don't have to give her back to her parents - Eric, six years old
→ When somebody's been dating for a while, the boy might propose to the girl. He says to her, 'I'll take you for a whole life, or at least until we have kids and get divorced, but you got to do one particular thing for me.' Then she says yes, but she's wondering what the thing is and whether it's naughty or not. She can't wait to find out. - Anita, nine years old

How Does a Person Decide Whom to marry?
→ You flip a nickel, and heads means you stay with him and tails means you try the next one. - Kelly, nine years old
→ My mother says to look for a man who is kind.... That's what I'll do.... I'll find somebody who's kinda tall and handsome. - Carolyn, eight years old

Concerning the Proper Age to Get Married
→ Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife - Bert, five years old

How Did Your Mom and Dad Meet?
→ They were at a dance party at a friend's house. Then they went for a drive, but their car broke down... It was a good thing, because it gave them a chance to find out about their values. - Lottie, nine years old
→ My father was doing some strange chores for my mother. They won't tell me what kind. - Jeremy, eight years old

What Do Most People Do on a Date?
→ On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. - Martin, ten years old
→ Many daters just eat pork chops and french fries and talk about love. - Craig, nine years old

When Is It Okay to Kiss Someone?
→ You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a ring and her own VCR, 'cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding. - Allan, ten years old
→ Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you.... If nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours. - Kally, nine years old

The Great Debate: Is It Better to Be Single or Married?
→ You should ask the people who read Cosmopolitan - Kirsten, ten years old
→ It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them - Anita, nine years old
→ It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble. - Will, seven years old

At a friend's wedding, the bridal party filled their car with balloons--all filled with laughing gas. They put them everywhere, under seats, in the glove box, etc. They popped the balloons, and everyone was relaxed and laughing. But balloons were popping all during the trip of their honeymoon. They said they enjoyed the trick.