Newest jokes

Which England player keeps up the fuel supply?
→ Paul gas coin!

What did they call Dracula when he won the league?
→ The champire!

Why didn't the dog want to play football?
→ It was a boxer!

How did the footbal pitch end up as triangle?
→ Somebody took a corner!

What's the chilliest ground in the premiership?
→ Cold Trafford!

What part of a football pitch smells nicest?
→ The scenter spot!

- Manager: I thought I told you to lose weight. What happened to your three week diet?

- Player: I finished it in three days!

Where do old bowling balls end up?
→ In the gutter!

Why do managers bring suitcases along to away games?
→ So that they can pack the defence!

- Manager: Our new midfielder cost ten million. I call him our wonder player.

- Fan: Why's that?

- Manager: Everytime he plays I wonder why I bothered to buy him!