Newest jokes

Our team is doing so badly that "Manager of the Month" isn't an award.
It's an appointment!

What should a football team do if the pitch is flooded?
→ Bring on their subs!

What part of a football ground is never the same?
→ The changing rooms!

What is the bank manager's favourite type of football?
→ Fiver side!

Why did the goal post get angry?
→ Because the bar was rattled!

What do you get if you drop a piano on a team's defence?
→ A flat back four!

Why are football grounds odd?
→ Because you can sit in the stands but can't stand in the sits!

What did the footballer say when he accidentally burped during a game?
→ Sorry, it was a freak hic!

- Manager: Twenty teams in the league and you lot finish bottom?

- Captain: Well, it could have been worse.

- Manager: How?

- Captain: There could have been more teams in the league!

- Manager: I'll give you fifty pounds a week to start with and a hundred pounds a week in a year's time.

- Young player: OK, I'll come back in a year's time!