Newest jokes

Anniversaries and birthdays
Complicate my life.
I'm an absent-minded husband
Of a present-minded wife.

There was once a wife so jealous that when her husband came home one night and she couldn't find hairs on his jackets she yelled at him, "Great, so now you're cheating on me with a bald woman!"

What is the difference between inlaws and outlaws?
→ Outlaws are wanted! or You can shoot outlaws!

What is the difference between a vulture and your mother-in-law?
→ Vultures wait until your dead to pick on you.

A person receives a telegram informing about his mother-in-law's death.

It also enquires him whether she should be buried or cremated.

He replies:

- Don't take chances. Burn the body and bury the ashes!

I just had the doctor remove an ugly growth from my back. It was my mother-in-law.

Happiness is defined as opening your refrigerator to find your mother-in-law's picture on the milk carton.

Do you know the punishment for bigamy?
→ Two mother-in-law's!

- Why Steve, you're so depressed today, what's the matter?

- Ah, well, I have had a quarrel with my mother-in-law. She swore to me she wouldn't talk to me for a month!!

- Then so bad about it? You should celebrate the event!!

- No, no, see...that was four weeks ago, and today is the last day...

Sign seen in a small restaurant:

Thanks for visiting. If you liked the food, send your friends. Otherwise, send your mother-in-law.