Great To Be A Man

Reasons why it's great to be a man:

• Your butt is never a factor in a job interview.
• Your orgasms are real. Always.
• Chocolate is just another snack.
• You can be president.
• You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.
• Car mechanics tell you the truth.
• You don't give a crap if no one notices your new haircut.
• The world is your urinal.
• Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
• You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
• Same work ... more pay.
• Wrinkles add character.
• You don't have to leave the room to make emergency crotch adjustments.
• Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
• If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
• People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
• The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
• Porn movies are designed with you in mind.
• Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.
• Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with "So, notice anything different?"
• One mood, ALL the damn time.
• Phone Conversations are over in 30 seconds flat!
• You know stuff about tanks.
• You can open all your own jars.
• Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob you blind.
• You can go to a public toilet without a support group.
• You can leave the motel bed unmade.
• You can kill your own food.
• You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
• Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.
• If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.
• Everything on your face stays its original color.
• You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming.
• You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever thinking "He must be mad at me."
• No maxi-pads.
• You don't mooch off other's desserts.
• You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.
• You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.
• You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
• You almost never have strap problems in public.
• You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
• The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
• You don't have to shave below your neck.
• Your belly usually hides your big hips.
• One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
• You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.
• You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
• Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.