Real Business Signs

- On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."

- Outside a Radiator Repair Shop: "Best place in town to take a leak."

- In a Non-smoking area: "If we see you smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

- On Maternity Room door: "Push, Push, Push."

- On a Front Door: "Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog."

- At an Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

- On a Scientist's door: "Gone Fission"

- On a Taxidermist's window: "We really know our stuff."

- In a Podiatrist's window: "Time wounds all heels."

- On a Butcher's window: "Let me meat your needs."

- On another Butcher's window: "Pleased to meat you."

- At a Used Car Lot: "Second Hand cars in first crash condition."

- On a fence: "Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive."

- At a Car Dealership: "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."

- Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We'll hear you coming."

- Outside a Hotel: "Help! We need inn-experienced people."

- At an Auto Body Shop: "May we have the next dents?"

- In a Dry Cleaner's Emporium: "Drop your pants here."

- On a desk in a Reception Room: "We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left."

- In a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

- On a Music Teacher's door: "Out Chopin."

- At the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."

- In a Beauty Shop: "Dye now!"

- On the side of a Garbage Truck: "We've got what it takes to take what you've got." (Burglars please copy.)

- On the door of a Computer Store: "Out for a quick byte."

- In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, come in and get fed up."

- Inside a Bowling Alley: "Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop."

- In a Cafeteria: "Shoes are required to eat in the cafeteria. Socks can eat any place they want."

- On the door of a Music Library: "Bach in a minuet."

- In the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully, we'll wait."

- In a Counselor's office: "Growing old is mandatory. Growing wise is optional."