Politically Correct Women

How to be politically correct with women

- She is not a BLEACHED BLONDE - She is PEROXIDE DEPENDENT.

- She is not a BAD COOK - She is MICROWAVE COMPATIBLE.

- She does not wear TOO MUCH JEWELRY - She is METALLICALLY OVERBURDENED.

- She is not CONCEITED - She is INTIMATELY AWARE OF HER BEST QUALITIES.

- She does not want to be MARRIED - She wants to lock you in DOMESTIC INCARCERATION.

- She does not GAIN WEIGHT - She is a METABOLIC UNDERACHIEVER.

- She does not TEASE or FLIRT - She engages in ARTIFICIAL STIMULATION.

- She is not DUMB - She is a DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.

- She is not TOO SKINNY - She is SKELETALLY PROMINENT.

- She does not HAVE A MUSTACHE - She is IN TOUCH WITH HER MASCULINE SIDE.

- She does not HATE TELEVISED SPORTS - She is ATHLETICALLY IGNORANT.

- She has not BEEN AROUND - She is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

- She does not WEAR TOO MUCH PERFUME - She commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE.

- She does not GO SHOPPING - She is MALL FLUENT.

- She is not an AIR HEAD - She is REALITY IMPAIRED.

- She does not get DRUNK or TIPSY - She gets CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.

- She does not get FAT or CHUBBY - She achieves MAXIMUM DENSITY.

- She is not COLD or FRIGID - She is THERMALLY INACCESSIBLE.

- She does not WEAR TOO MUCH MAKEUP - She has reached COSMETIC SATURATION.

- She does not NAG YOU - She becomes VERBALLY REPETITIVE