Great To Be A Woman

Reasons why it's great to be a woman

• Free drinks.
• Free dinners.
• Free movies.
• Speeding ticket? What's that?
• New lipstick gives you a whole new lease on life.
• If you have to be home in time for Melrose Place, you can say so, out loud.
• If you're not making enough money you can blame the glass ceiling.
• You can sleep your way to the top.
• You can sue the President for sexual harassment.
• It's possible to live your whole life without ever taking a group shower.
• No fashion faux pas you make could rival The Speedo.
• Brad Pitt.
• No one passes out when you take off your shoes.
• Excitement is only as far away as the nearest beauty-supply store.
• If you forget to shave, no one has to know.
• If you're dumb, some people will find it cute.
• You have the ability to dress yourself.
• If you marry someone twenty years younger, you're aware that you look like an idiot.
• You'll never have to punch a hole through anything with your fist.
• You can quickly end any fight by crying.
• Your friends won't think you're weird if you ask whether there's spinach in your teeth.
• There are times when chocolate really Can solve all your problems.
• You've never had a goatee.
• You'll never regret piercing your ears.
• You can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
• You know which glass was yours by the lipstick mark.
• You get to hate Kathie Lee in the way only another woman truly can.