Situations

How many Aquarians does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Like, why don't you just get out of my face and stop asking me to do all your work for you? I'm, like, really totally sick and tired of you asking me questions.

- Why have you stopped playing cards with my sister?

- Well would you play with someone who cheats all the time, is a poor loser and keeps tearing up the cards?

- No I wouldn't.

- No, well nor will she.

It only rains twice a year in Seattle:
August through April and May through July.

- How did you find the weather on your vacation?

- I just went outside and there it was!

There is a Shreveport cable TV channel that broadcasts the (live) video of the Shreveport radar and the audio of the NOAA weather radio station. When explaining why he knew he should go into meteorology, he said that when he was young, he would sometimes watch the channel even when there were no echoes, just for fun.

Recently during the heavy rains they have experienced in New England the mail carrier for one neighborhood commeneted on the "pouring rain." Well, atleast the dew point is coming down!

During the month of June and July. Here in the panhandle it got pretty hot in this area. In Fact people were even overworking in the heat. So one day I was working outside in the heat and then i thought i better get inside. My Boss asked me where i was going and i told him i am going inside to cool down.
He said that i better get back to work. I said i cant, he said how come.? Because it is so hot out here that i have to go inside to change my mind.

Years ago, Nebraskans got tired of leaning into the wind, having their top soil blown away, and chickens laying their eggs two and three times. Seems the wind continually came down from Canada, and there was nothing between Canada and Nebraska to stop it.
The farmers all got together and decided to build a fence across the North Border of the State of Nebraska. . . . the idea being, to stop that cold wind. It might've worked, too. The barbed wire they used was strong enough, but the real problem was that a couple owners of farms on the upper boarder kept leaving their gates open.

If you are standing in the main street of Amsterdam, and can't see the clock tower of the Central Railway Station, that means it is raining. If you can see the clock tower, that means it is about to rain.

How do you spot a happy motorcyclist in fair weather?
→ He's got bugs on his teeth.