Sex Jokes

Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
→ Just when it's getting interesting they are finished until next time...

What's the difference between white onions, brown onions and a 30 centimeter dick?
→ Nothing.... They all make your eyes water.

What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball???
→ She choked...

Why is a joke like pussy?
→ Neither's any good if you don't get it.

What's the definition of a virgin?
→ An ugly third grader.

How is pubic hair like parsley?
→ You push it to the side before you start eating.

What's the difference between mayonnaise and sperm?
→ Mayonnaise doesn't hit the back of a girl's throat at 40 mph.

These two sperm were swimmin' around, doin' their thing, and one sperm asks the other...

- Hey, are we almost there??? Is this the fallopian tube???

- Naaaa, this is still the esophagus.

One night the Norse god Thor was feeling a bit horny so he decided to come down to earth to satisfy his needs. He picked up a good looking woman with a great shape and they went to her apartment. She only had one small problem, she had a speech impediment, but this didn't affect their sex.

They went at it hot and heavy all night long, then in the morning Thor had to leave so he decided he should at least tell her his name, so he said to her, "I'm Mighty Thor and I have to leave now."

She looked at him and said, "You're thore I'm tho thore I can hardly pith."

A husky foreigner, looking for sex, accepted a prostitute's terms. When she undressed, he noticed that she had no pubic hair.

The man shouted, "What, no wool? In my country all women have wool down there."

The prostitute snapped back, "What do you want to do, knit or fuck?"