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What's the definition of a perfect woman?
a) Three feet tall with a round hole for a mouth and a flat head so that you can put a pint of beer on it.
b) The sports model has pullback ears and her teeth fold in.
c) The economy model fucks all night and, at midnight, turns into a roast beef sandwich and a six pack.

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Etiquette and Behavior

  • EB101: PMS (Preposterous Mood Swings) - Learning To Sleep Over At Mother's
  • EB102: We Do Not Want Ties For Christmas (Just Wear The Sexy Lingerie I Gave You)
  • EB103: How Not To Sob Like A Sponge When Your Husband Is Right
  • EB104: Why It Is Unacceptable To Talk About Feminine Hygiene In Mixed Company
  • EB105: If You Want To Know How That Looks On You, Ask Your Mother
  • EB106: How To Act Younger Than Your Mother
  • EB107: Apologizing For Farting When You're On The Toilet Is Not Necessary

General Electives

  • GE101: You, The Whining Sex
  • GE102: Why You Don't Need To Invite Your Mother Over Every Weekend
  • GE103: Payday And Shopping Are Not Synonymous
  • GE104: Female Friendship - Why Your Best Friends Are Not The Women Who Complain About You The Most
  • GE105: Learning To Appreciate Beer Belly And Lard Butt Morphologies Of Men

Home Economics

  • HE101: You Can Change The Oil Too
  • HE102: How To Properly Fill A Beer Mug
  • HE103: How To Do All Your Laundry In One Load And Have More Time To Watch Football
  • HE104: How To Encourage Your Husband To Cook More And Be Able To Stomach His Slop
  • HE105: Get A Life - Learn To Kill Spiders Yourself
  • HE106: How To Close The Garage Door
  • HE107: How To Close The Top On The Toothpaste
  • HE108: How to Drive a Nail Without Breaking One
  • HE109: Why Going To The Bathroom Is Not A Group Activity
  • HE110: Overcoming "The Imelda Syndrome" (formerly called "How Many Feet Do You Have, Anyway?")

Interpersonal Relationships

  • IR101: Understanding The Female Causes Of Male Drunkenness
  • IR102: If You Don't Want An Excuse, Don't Demand An Explanation
  • IR103: Romanticism - The Whole Point Of Caviar, Candles, And Conversation
  • IR104: Why Men Enjoy Grocery Shopping About As Much As Women Enjoy Watching "The Three Stooges"
  • IR105: Marriage - The Number One Cause Of Divorce

Life Skills

  • LS101: Combatting The Impulse To Nag
  • LS102: Parenting - Your Husband Gave You Children So You Could Have Someone Other Than Him To Boss Around
  • LS103: Balancing A Checkbook - Even You Can Get It Right
  • LS104: Comprehending Credit Card Spending Limits And Financial Responsibility
  • LS105: Shopping - Doing It In Less Than 16 Hours
  • LS106: How To Go Fishing With Your Mate And Not Catch Pneumonia
  • LS107: Living Without Power Windows - How To Turn A Crank
  • LS108: How To Retain Your Composure While Your Husband Is Relaxing By Himself
  • LS109: You Too Can Carry A Backpack
  • LS110: Dress Like A Slut And Put On Something Sexy - Why It Won't Ruin Your Brain
  • LS111: Attainable Goal - Catching A Ball Before It Stops Moving
  • LS112: How To Remain Femininely Enticing And Attractive After Menopause
  • LS113: How To Parallel Park

Sex Education

  • SE101: Reasons To Give Head To Your Man
  • SE102: How To Stay Awake During Sex And Imagine That It Lasted For Over 10 Minutes
  • SE103: Fall Semester: You Can Use A Bed For More Than Just Sleep Spring Semester: It's Okay To Do It Outside Of The Bedroom
  • SE104: How To Say "Yes" More Often
  • SE105: How To Say "No" But Really Mean "Yes"
  • SE106: Lingerie - The Gift That Keeps On Giving
  • SE107: Sexual Alternatives For "That Time Of The Month" (formerly called "Any Old Port In A Storm")
  • SE108: Foreplay (not a required course, for extra credit only)
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