Mom/Dad Jokes

"Dad," said Rickey, "what is electricity?"

"Uh," replied his father, "I don't really know too much about electricity."

A few minutes later the boy said, "How does gas make the engine go?"

"Son, I'm afraid I don't know much about motors."

"Dad," said the boy, "what is anthropology?"

"Anthropology?" The father frowned. "I really don't know."

"Gee, Dad, I guess I'm making a nuisance of myself."

"Not at all, son. If you don't ask questions, you'll never learn anything."

Mrs. Filmore returned home from a business trip and asked her husband, "How did Greg do on his history exam?"

"Oh, not so good," he replied. "But it wasn't his fault. They asked him about things that happened before he was born!"

"Son, you sure do ask a lot of questions," said the father. "I'd like to know what would have happened if I'd asked as many questions when I was a boy."

"Perhaps," said the boy, "you'd've been able to answer some of mine."

"Honey," said Mrs. Beldon to her husband, "Lester's teacher says he ought to have an encyclopedia."

"Encyclopedia, my eye!" exclaimed Beldon. "Let him walk to school like I did."

Down at the office Bostwick boasted to one of his buddies, "My son Arthur is smarter even than Abraham Lincoln.

Arthur could recite the Gettysburg Address when he was ten years old. Lincoln didn't say it till he was fifty!"

At dinner, Seth said to his father, "Dad, I got into trouble at school today and it's all your fault."

"How's that?" asked the master of the house.

"Remember I asked you how much $500,000 was?"

"Yeah, I remember."

"Well, 'a helluva lot' ain't the right answer."

"What are you reading?" demanded the father of his seven-year-old.

"A story about a cow jumping over the moon," was the reply.

"Throw that book away at once," he commanded.

"How many times have I told you you're too young to read science fiction?"

An irate father stormed into the principal's office. "I demand to know," he screamed, "why my son Winslow was given a zero on his English examination."

"Now, don't get excited," said the principal. "We'll get your Winslow's English teacher in here. I'm sure she has some explanation."

A few minutes later, the English teacher arrived.

"Why did you give Winslow a zero on his English final?" demanded the father.

"I had no choice," said the schoolmarm. "He handed in a blank paper with absolutely nothing on it."

"That's no excuse," shouted the father. "You could have at least given him an 'A' for neatness!"

Talbot and his son James were called to Mrs. Cren-shaw's classroom.

"Mr. Talbot," said the teacher, "I asked James 'Who shot Abraham Lincoln?' and he said that he didn't do it!"

"Well, teacher," said Talbot, "if my kid said he didn't do it he didn't do it!"

Father and son left the school, and on their way home Talbot turned to the boy and asked, "Tell me, son, did you do it?"

- Son: What is an autobiography?

- Father: Er, the story of an automobile.