Language Jokes

What do you call a one-eyed dinosaur?
→ A doyouthinkhesaurus!

The following phrase:

PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA

can be rearranged (with no letters left over, and using each letter only once) into:

TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS

Coincidence? I think not!

There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest.

He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

- Knock Knock

- Who's there?

- Ida

- Ida who?

- Ida know.

What's the longest word?
→ Smiles!

Why?
→ Because it has a mile in it!

An Ancient Greek man walks into a tailor and holds up a torn tunic.

- Tailor: Euripides? (You-rip-e-dees)

- Man: Eumenedes?? (You-men-e-dees)

(Say it quickly, it works!)

Heard about the dyslexic pimp?
→ He bought a warehouse!

What is a dyslexic agnostic insomniac?
→ Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there really is a dog.

• An acher of bacteriologists
• A murmur of cardiologists
• A stain of cytotechnologists
• A rash of dermatologists
• A speck of forensic pathologists
• A poke of gynecologists
• A vessel of heart surgeons
• A clot of hematologists
• A nursery of obstetricians
• A dose of pharmacists
• A pile of proctologists
• A G-spot of sex therapists
• A stream of urologists

Dr. Dave's Dental-Chair Discovery: Dentists are incapable of asking questions that require a simple yes or no answer.