Language Jokes

When is a bicycle not a bicycle?
→ When it turns into a driveway.

When is your mind like a rumpled bed?
→ When it isn't made up yet.

Why shouldn't you believe a person in bed?
→ Because he is lying.

- Nick: Can you tell me the way to Bath?

- Rick: I use soap and water, personally.

There is a new Barbie doll on the market -

Lumberjack Barbie ...sleeps all night, works all day

What happened when the barman died?
→ The police held an inn-quest

Where do Martians drink beer?
→ At a mars bar!

How do barmen surf the web?
→ On the Gin-ternet.

What did the bartender say to the jumper cables when they walked into the bar?
→ Ok you 2, dont start anything

Two cartons of yogurt walk into a bar. The bartender, who was a tub of cottage cheese, says to them, "We don't serve your kind in here."

One of the yogurt cartons says back to him, "Why not? We're cultured individuals."