Language Jokes

What happened to the lizard in the wizard's garden pond?
→ He had him newt-ered.

There was once a puppy called May who loved to pick quarrels with animals who were bigger than she was. One day she argued with a lion. The next day was the first of June.

Why? Because that was the end of May!

What is a buttress?
→ A female goat.

What's at the end of Moby Dick?
→ A whale of a time!

What kind of noise annoys an oyster?
→ A noisy noise annoys an oyster! (Try saying that fast!)

What's the favourite flavour of sharks?
→ Shark-o-late!

Where do sharks come from?
→ Sharkago!

What's an octopuses favourite latin saying?
→ Squid pro quo!

Two tourists were driving through Louisiana. As they were approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the employee, "Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly?"
The girl leaned over the counter and said, "Burrrrrrrr, gerrrrrrr, Kiiiiing."

Two anthropologists fly to the south sea islands to study the natives. They go to two adjacent islands and set to work. A few months later one of them takes a canoe over to the other island to see how his colleague is doing. When he gets there, he finds the other anthropologist standing among a group of natives.

"Greetings! How is it going?" says the visiting anthropologist.

"Wonderful!" says the other, "I have discovered an important fact about the local language! Watch!"

He points at a palm tree and says, "what is that?" The natives, in unison, say "Umbalo-gong!" He then points at a rock and says, "and that?" The natives again intone "Umbalo-gong!"

"You see!", says the beaming anthropologist, "They use the SAME word for 'rock' and for 'palm tree'!"
"That is truly amazing!" says the astonished visiting anthropologist, "On the other island, the same word means 'index finger'!"