Ethnic

"Helga, tell me something. Why do Swedish men always have stupid grins on their faces?"

"Because they're stupid," said her friend.

Why do Polish police cars have stripes on the side?
→ So the cops can find the handles.

What is the most common educational degree in New Mexico?
→ Kindergarten dropout.

How many Oregonians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ Six. One to screw in the lightbulb and five to fend off all those Californians trying to share the experience.

How many Scotsmen does it take to change a light bulb?
→ Scotsmen don't change light bulbs, it's cheaper to sit in the dark

How many Italian-Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ I dunno exactly, but my brothers girlfriends fathers boss secretary's sister's next door neighbors' priest's cousin's union shop steward's uncle's Knights Of Columbus club Seargant-of-Arms nephew's best friend did it real cheap for me once.

How many Polish-Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ 170. One to send the Never Fail Novena to the Cheektowaga Times for publication so St. Jude may grant the lightbulb request, one to say the Last Rites for the old lightbulb, ten volunteer firemen to break into the house and smash the old light bulb to bits, fifty to protest the abortion of the old lightbulb, ten to organize a lawn fete and spaghetti dinner at Our Most Holy Precious Blood of the Seventeen Martyred Saints R.C. Church to raise funds to buy a new light bulb (and the Monsignor a new pair of bowling shoes as a gift on St. Stanislaus Day), twenty from Chiavettas Catering to serve the food, twenty to run the Monte Carlo gambling tent, fifty to run everything else, one to go to Koplinskis Appliances to buy the light bulb, one to screw it in, five to say the Rosary as the bulb is being screwed in, and the Monsignor to bless it.

How many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Two. One to replace it and one to tell him it was burned out (in states that still have car-inspection laws.)
→ Three. One to stand on the ladder, and two to carry enough light bulbs until one is found that isn't defective.
→ 250,000,000, one to change it and 249,999,999 to debate whether it it was politically correct.

How many Serbs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ Two-one to shoot the old bulb out and one to screw the new one in.

How many Russians does it take to change a light bulb?
→ That's a military secret.