Random joke from this category
A blonde went in the library and walked up to the librarian behind the desk and said, "I would like a cheeseburger."
The librarian replied, "Shh! This is a library!"
The blonde blushed. "oh, sorry.." then she whispered, "I would like a cheeseburger."
Why can't the blonde put in a light bulb?
→ She kept breaking them with the hammer.
How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb?
→ "You can change those things?!"
How does a blonde change a lightbulb?
→ She says, "Daddy, I want a new apartment."
A blonde wanted to win the lotto so she prayed to god, and she lost. Next week she prayed to god again, and she lost. The week after she prayed to god, and she lost. She said to god, why wont you let me win?
God replied, How about buying a ticket first?
At a paternity trial, the blonde's lawyer asked, "On the night of July 16th last, at approximately 11:45 p.m., in the locale known generally as 'Lover's Lane,' did the defendant have sexual relations with you?"
"Yes," whispered the girl, her head bowed.
"And did the defendant on that occasion, to the best of your knowledge, have a climax?" the lawyer continued.
"Oh no," she replied, "I'm pretty sure... he had one of them fancy Mitsubishis."
Why did the blonde get fired from her job working at an M&M factory?
→ She kept throwing out all of the W's!
What's the advantage of being married to a blonde?
→ You can park in handicapped zones.
Why did the blonde tip toe past the medicine cabinet?
→ So she wouldn't wake up the Sleeping Pills.
A blonde wanted to sell her old car, but nobody wished to buy a car with 250,000 miles on it. So, she tells her brunette girlfriend at the salon about her problem, and the brunette suggests she take the car to a mechanic friend of hers, who will turn the meter back by 200,000 miles. The blonde thinks this is a sound suggestion and does so.
About a month later, the brunette sees her blonde girlfriend in a store and says, "Did you ever sell your car?"
"No," says the blonde. "Why should I? It's only got 50,000 miles on it."
