Blonde Jokes

• ARTERY--The study of fine paintings.
• BARIUM--What you do when CPR fails.
• BENIGN--What yoiu are after you be8.
• CAESAREAN SECTION--A district in Rome.
• COLIC--A sheep dog.
• COMA--A punctuation mark.
• CONGENITAL--Friendly.
• DILATE--To live longer.
• FESTER--Quicker.
• G.I. SERIES--Baseball game between teams of soldiers.
• GRIPPE--A suitcase.
• HANGNAIL--A coat hook.
• MEDICAL STAFF--A Doctor's cane.
• MINOR OPERATION--Coal digging.
• MORBID--A higher offer.
• NODE--Was aware of.
• ORGANIC--Church musician.
• OUTPATIENT--A person who has fainted.
• POST-OPERATIVE--A letter carrier.
• PROTEIN--In favor of young people.
• SECRETION--Hiding anything.
• SEROLOGY--Study of English knighthood.
• TABLET--A small table.
• TUMOR--An extra pair.
• URINE--Opposite of you're out.
• VARICOSE VEINS--Veins which are very close together.

Why are so many blonde jokes one-liners?
→ So brunettes can remember them.

What is black and blue and brown lying in a ditch?
→ A brunette who has told too many blonde jokes.

A red-head, a brunette, and a blonde went on a trip to the desert.

They each brought one item for survival.

The red-head brought water. The blonde asked, "Why?" The red-head replied, "To prevent us from dying of thirst."

The brunette brought food. The blonde asked, "Why?" The brunette replied, "To prevent us from dying of hunger."

The blonde brought a car door. The red-head and brunette asked, "Why?" The blonde replied, "To roll down the window if it gets hot."

What do you get if put a blonde upside down?
→ A brunette with a bad breath.

How do you break the nose on a blonde?
→ You put a dildo under a glass table!

What do you call a blonde in a freezer?
→ A frosted Flake!

How can you tell when a blonde is having a bad day?
→ When she has a tampon behind her ear and she can't find her pencil.

Where do you see blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette, blonde...
→ A naked blonde doing cartwheels!

There was a Blond and a Brunette on an airplane.

All of a sudden the engine blew and they started to crash!

There was only one parachute and a flashlight.

The Brunette grabbed the parachute and the flashlight and said to the blond, "Ok, This is a magic flashlight, I will shine it on the ground and you can slide down the beam of light! Then I will follow you with the parachute."

The blond looked at her sceptically and said, "Do you think I am that dumb? I know when I am halfway down you're gonna turn it off!"

A State Trooper pulls a car over on a lonely back road and approaches the blonde lady driver.

"Ma'am, is there a reason that you're weaving all over the road?"

The woman replied, "Oh officer, thank goodness you're here! I almost had an accident! I looked up and there was a tree right in front of me. I swerved to the left and there was another tree in front of me. I swerved to the right and there was another tree in front of me!"

Reaching through the side window to the rear view mirror, the officer replied, "Ma'am... that's your air freshener!"