Blonde Jokes

A young woman said to her doctor,

- You have to help me, I hurt all over.

"What do you mean?" said the doctor.
The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled,

- Ow, that hurts.

Then she touched her left cheek and again yelled,

- Ouch! That hurts, too.

Then she touched her right earlobe.

- Ow, even THAT hurts.

The doctor asked the woman, "Are you a natural blonde?"
"Why yes," she said.
"I thought so," said the doctor. "You have a sprained finger."

Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
→ To see what was on the other side.

Why do blondes like lightning?
→ They think someone is taking their picture.

What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA? "Look! they spelled MACY'S wrong.

What happened to the blonde ice hockey team? They drowned in Spring training.

A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, "shut up...you're next!"

On a plane bound for New York the flight attendant approached a blonde sitting in the first class section and requested that she move to coach since she did not have a first class ticket. The blonde replied, "I'm blonde; I'm beautiful; I'm going to New York; and I'm not moving." Not wanting to argue with a customer, the flight attendant asked the co-pilot to speak with her. He went to talk with the woman, asking her to please move out of the first class section. Again, the blonde replied, "I'm blonde; I'm beautiful; I'm going to New York, and I'm not moving." The co-pilot returned to the cockpit and asked the captain what he should do. The captain said, "I'm married to a blonde, and I know how to handle this." He went to the first class section and whispered in the blonde's ear. She immediately jumped up and ran to the coach section mumbling to herself, "Why didn't someone just say so?" Surprised, the flight attendant and the co-pilot asked what he said to her that finally convinced her to move from her seat. He said, "I told her the first class section wasn't going to New York."

Did you hear the one about the blonde fox that got stuck in a trap?

She chewed off three legs and was still stuck.

What is the difference between butter and a blonde?
→ Butter is difficult to spread.

Whats a blonde's favorite surgery?

A Slipodictomy.