Animal World

A Second OpinionA man runs into the vet's office carrying his dog, screaming forhelp. The vet rushes him back to an examination room and has himput his dog down on the examination table. The vet examines thestill, limp body and after a few moments tells the man that hisdog, regrettably, is dead. The man, clearly agitated and notwilling to accept this, demands a second opinion.

The vet goes into the back room and comes out with a cat and putsthe cat down next to the dog's body. The cat sniffs the body,walks from head to tail poking and sniffing the dog's body andfinally looks at the vet and meows. The vet looks at the man andsays, "I'm sorry, but the cat thinks that your dog is dead too."

The man is still unwilling to accept that his dog is dead.

The vet brings in a black Labrador. The lab sniffs the body,walks from head to tail, and finally looks at the vet and barks.

The vet looks at the man and says, "I'm sorry, but the lab thinksyour dog is dead too."

The man, finally resigned to the diagnosis, thanks the vet andasks how much he owes. The vet answers, "$650."

"$650 to tell me my dog is dead?" exclaimed the man....

"Well," the vet replies, "I would only have charged you $50 formy initial diagnosis. The additional $600 was for the cat scanand lab tests."

A man wrote a letter to a small hotel in a midwest town he planned to visit on his vacation.

He wrote, "I would very much like to bring my dog with me. He is well groomed and very well behaved. Would you be willing to permit me to keep him in my room with me at night?"

An immediate reply came from the hotel owner, who said, "I've been operating this hotel for many years. In all that time, I've never had a dog steal towels, bedclothes, silverware or pictures off the walls. I've never had to evict a dog in the middle of the night for being drunk and disorderly. and I've never had a dog run out on a hotel bill. Yes, indeed, your dog is welcome at my hotel. And, if your dog will vouch for you, you're welcome to stay here, too."

What do you call a dog with no back legs and balls of steel?

SparkySent by Shawn

What's the difference between a rotwieler and a poodle?

If a rotwieler starts humping your leg you let it finish.

What is the last thing to go through the mindof a mosquito when it hits your windscreen?

It's ass.

Why does an elephant have four feet?

Because it would look silly with six inches.

Why'd the monkey fall outta the tree? 'cause he was dead...

Why'd the other monkey fall outta the tree? 'cause he was dead too...

Why'd the third monkey fall outta the tree?peer pressure...

Did you hear about the Blind man that went Bunjee jumping?

Scared the hell out of the dog.

There was once an aspiring veterinarian who put himself through veterinary school working nights as a taxidermist. Upon graduation, he decided he could combine his two vocations to better serve the needs of his patients and their owners, while doubling his practice and, therefore, his income. He opened his own offices with a shingle on the door saying, "Dr. Jones, Veterinary Medicine and Taxidermy -- Either way, you get your dog back!"

What do you call a dog with two balls and no hind legs?

Sparky