Animal Jokes

What do you call a 100 year old ant?
→ An antique!

How come if ants are always so busy they always get time to show up at picnics?

What is smaller than an ant's dinner?
→ An ant's mouth!

Where do ants go for their holidays?
→ Frants!

What do you call an ant who skips school?
→ A truant!

What do you get if you cross some ants with some tics?
→ All sorts of antics!

What do you call an ant with five pairs of eyes?
→ Antteneye!

What kind of ant can you colour with?
→ A crayant!

What do you call an ant who likes to be alone?
→ An independant!

An accountant goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner shows him three identical parrots on a perch and says:

- The parrot on the left costs $500.

- Why does that parrot cost so much? - asks the accountant.

- Well - replies the owner.

- it knows how to do complex audits.

- How much does the middle parrot cost? - asks the accountant.

- That one costs $1,000 because it can do everything the first one can do plus it knows how to prepare financial forecasts.

The startled accountant asks about the third parrot, to be told it costs $4,000. Needless to say, this begs the question:

- What can it do?

To which the owner replies:

- To be honest, I've never seen him do a darn thing, but the other two call him Senior Partner.