Animal Jokes

What song should you sing to a wildebeest on his birthday?
→ "Happy Birthday To Gnu!"

What do you give a nine-hundred-pound gorilla for his birthday?
→ I don't know, but you'd better hope he likes it!

Where do you find a birthday present for a cat?
→ In a cat-alogue!

How does Moby Dick celebrate his birthday?
→ He has a whale of a party!

Good news! I've been given a goldfish for my birthday...
the bad news is that I don't get the bowl until my next birthday!

- Look at that speed! - said one hawk to another as the jet fighter plane hurtled over their heads.

- Hmph! - snorted the other.

- You would fly fast too if your tail was on fire!

A couple of pigeons made a date to meet on the ledge outside the tenth floor of a skyscraper. The female was there on time, but the male arrived an hour late.

- Where were you? I was worried sick.

- It was such nice day, I decided to walk.

How many ducks would there be, if you saw two ducks in front of two ducks, two ducks between two ducks, and two ducks behind two ducks?
→ 4 ducks-because they are in a row.

Why did the chicken cross the road in Missouri?
→ To show the opossum it could be done.

Chicken to turkey: "Only Thanksgiving and Christmas??? You're lucky, with us it's any Sunday."