Animal Jokes

- Would you like a duck egg for supper?

- Only if you quack it for me.

What do you get if you cross a bee with a quarter of a pound of ground beef?
→ A humburger.

At a party, a conjurer was producing egg after egg from a little boy's ear.

- There! - he said proudly.

- I bet your Mum can't produce eggs without hens, can she?

- Oh yes, she can - said the boy.

- She keeps ducks.

What did the snake say when he was offered a piece of cheese for dinner?
→ Thank you, I'll just have a slither.

How do you know that a elephant's been in the fridge?
→ There are foot prints in the butter.

Two flies were on a cornflakes packet.

- Why are we running so fast? - asked one.

- Because - said the second - it says 'tear along the dotted line'!

Two flies were on a cornflakes packet.

- Why are we running so fast? - asked one.

- Because - said the second - it says 'tear along the dotted line'!

What is small, furry and smells like bacon?
→ A hamster.

What are apricots?
→ Where monkeys sleep.

Having arrived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realized he had forgotten to bring any bait. Just then he happened to see a little snake passing by who had caught a worm. The fisherman snatched up the snake and robbed him of his worm.

Feeling sorry for the little snake with no lunch, he snatched him up again and poured a little beer down his throat. Then he went about his fishing.

An hour or so later the fisherman felt a tug at his pant leg. Looking down, he saw the same snake with three more worms in his mouth...