Newest jokes

How many Aquarians does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Well, you have to remember that everything is energy so...

How many Arians does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Only one Arian, but an awful lot of light bulbs.

(smash)

How many Arians does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ None: Arians aren't afraid of the dark.

How many Arians does it take to change a lightbulb?
→ Just the one. You want to make something of it, eh?

What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
→ A woman that won't do what she's told.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
→ The dog. He'll shut up once you let him in.

How do you fix a woman's watch?
→ It doesn't matter. There is a clock on the oven.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
→ She starts her sentence with "A man once told me..."

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
→ It allows them to stand closer to the sink.

Why did the witch lose her way?
→ Because her hat was pointing in the wrong direction.