Newest jokes

One of Microsoft's finest technicans was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target.

The technician looked at his rifle, and then at the target. He looked at the rifle again, and then at the target again. He put his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand. The end of his finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward the target area:

- It's leaving here just fine, the trouble must be at your end!

What did Bill Gate's wife say to him on their wedding night?
→ No wonder you called the company Microsoft

How does Bill Gates screw in a lightbulb?
→ He doesn't. He declares darkness the industry standard.

What is the difference between Windows 95 and Windows 98?
→ 3 years

I heard that if you play the Windows NT 4.0 CD backwards, you'll get a satanic message. But the most frightening thing is that if you play it forward, it installs NT 4.0!

Ya see, we at Microsoft believe in making computing easier! What could be easier for consumers than having only ONE choice of software?!?

- Why do you think I spend too much time at my computer?

- Well, dear... Every time I ask you to close the windows you answer with "Please wait while your computer shuts down"...

- Customer: I'm running Windows '95.

- Tech: Yes.

- Customer: My computer isn't working now.

- Tech: Yes, you said that.

Got this email from a friend:

CanYouFixTheSpaceBarOnMyKeyboard?

One guy was on duty in the main lab on a quiet afternoon. He noticed a young woman sitting in front of one of the workstations with her arms crossed across her chest and staring at the screen.

After about 15 minutes he noticed that she was still in the same position only now she was impatiently tapping her foot.

He asked if she needed help and she replied, It's about time! I pushed the F1 button over twenty minutes ago!