A Pittsburgh steel worker was driving through northern California's apple country.
He stopped at an orchard and asked the owner:
- How much are yer apples?
- All you can pick for one dollar - said the rancher.
- Okay - said the Pennsylvanian.
- I'll take two dollars' worth.
Two girls were having their packed lunch in the school yard. One had an apple and the other said:
- Watch out for worms won't you!
The first one replied:
- why should I? They can watch out for themselves.
- Dad, do you like baked apples?
- Yes son, why?
- The orchard's on fire.
If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what does an onion do?
→ Keeps everyone away.
How do you make an apple turnover?
→ Push it down hill.
What can a whole apple do that half an apple can't do?
→ It can look round.
Once upon a time there were five apples
Which was the cowboy?
→ None - because they were all redskins.
What is red and goes putt, putt, putt?
→ An outboard apple.
How does an apple a day keep the doctor away?
→ When you take careful aim.
How do you make an apple puff?
→ Chase it round the garden
