Newest jokes

- Mother: Why is there a strange baby in the crib?

- Daughter: You told me to change the baby.

What did the Pharaohs use to keep their babies quiet?
→ Egyptian dummies.

Three men were discussing at a bar about coincidences. The first man said:

- My wife was reading a 'Tale of Two Cities' and she gave birth to twins.

- That's funny - the second man remarked - my wife was reading 'The Three Musketeers' and she gave birth to triplets.

The third man shouted:

- Good God, I have to rush home!

When asked what the problem was, he exclaimed:

- When I left the house, my wife was reading Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves!!!

- Mum, is it true my baby sister came from Heaven?

- Yes, that's right.

- Well, I don't blame God for chucking her out.

Why did the baby monster put his father in the freezer?
→ Because he wanted frozen pop.

When a baby is learning to eat, shouldn't he have an L-plate?

Why is a baby like an diamond?
→ Because it's a dear little thing.

What did Baby Corn say to Mother Corn?
→ Where's Pop Corn?

How do you get a paper baby?
→ Marry an old bag.

Today I saw a baby who had put on five stone in weight in two weeks by drinking elephant's milk.
Whose baby was it?
→ The elephant's!