Auntie Maud bought herself a new rear-engine European car. She took an old friend for a drive, but after only half a mile the car broke down.
Both women got out and opened up the front of the car.
- Oh, Maud, you've lost your engine! - said her friend.
- Never mind, dear, I've got a spare one in the trunk. - said auntie.
What do you get if you cross a Rolls Royce with a vampire?
→ A monster that attacks expensive cars and sucks out their gas tanks.
What's the difference between a teacher and a conductor on the railroad?
→ One trains the mind, the other minds the train.
Why did the stupid racing car driver make ten pit stops during the Grand Prix?
→ He was asking for directions.
What do you call a witch who drives really badly?
→ A road hag.
Did you hear about the boy who had to do a project on trains?
→ He had to keep track of everything!
- Monster: I've got to walk 25 miles home.
- Ghost: Why don't you take a train.
- Monster: I did once, but my mother made me give it back.
Why do you have to wait so long for a ghost train to come along?
→ They only run a skeleton service.
Where do ghost trains stop?
→ At devil crossings.
What is evil and ugly and goes at 125 mph?
→ A witch in a high speed train.
