Newest jokes

What is hard, six inches long, has two nuts, and can make a girl fat?
→ Almond Joy candy bar

What can you find in a man's pants that is about six inches long, has a head on it, and that women love so much that they often blow it?
→ A $20 bill

What is a four-letter word that ends in 'k' and means the same as intercourse?
→ Talk

A man went into a store to buy some condoms.

- That's 1 dollar 15 plus tax - said the store assistant.

- I don't need tacks - said the man.

- It'll stay up all by itself.

What do hookers do on their night off?
→ Type.

I was making love to this girl and she started crying. I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No, I hate myself now."

Sex between a man and a woman can be wonderful, provided you get between the right man and the right woman.

Why is sex like a game of bridge?
→ You don't need a partner if you have a good hand.

Why are condoms like cameras?
→ They both capture the moment.

- Wife: Why don't you ever call out my name when we're making love?

- Husband: Because I don't want to wake you.