Newest jokes

When can you dive in a swimming pool and not get your hair wet?
→ When your bald!

Why did the bald man go outside?
→ To get some fresh hair!

- Doctor, Doctor my hair keeps falling out, can you give me anything to keep it in?

- Yes, here is a paper bag!

- Barber: Were you wearing a red scarf when you came in?

- Customer: No.

- Barber: Oh dear! Then I must have cut your throat.

- My barber is a specialist in road map shaves.

- How come?

- When he's finished, your face is full of short cuts.

- Barber: And how old are you, little man?

- Fred: Eight.

- Barber: And do you want a haircut?

- Fred: Well, I certainly didn't come in for a shave!

- Barber: Your hair is getting grey, Sir.

- Customer: I'm not surprised - hurry up, will you?

Why does a barber never shave a man with a wooden leg?
→ Because he always uses a razor.

What's a barber's favourite kind of holiday?
→ Cruising on a clipper.

- How much for a haircut?

- Barber: Fifteen dollars.

- How much for a shave?

- Barber: Ten dollars.

- Right - shave my head.