Newest jokes

Why was the man sued by his horse?
→ For palomino-money!

Why was the horseman fired from his job of saddle testing?
→ He was always standing up on the job!

Why was the horse all charged up?
→ It ate some haywire!

How many civil servants does it take to change a light bulb?
→ Twelve. One to change the bulb, and eleven to do the paperwork.

How many cashiers does it take to change a light bulb?
→ "Are you kidding? They won't even change a five dollar bill."

How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?
→ Third as many as for a regular bulb.

How many architects does it take to change a light bulb?
→ Just one, but he has to coordinate ten other professionals who are doing this quiet complicated task.

How many archaeologists does it take to change a light bulb?
→ Three. One to change it while the other two argue about how old the old one is.

An archaeologist was digging in the Negev Desert in Israel and came upon a casket containing a mummy. After examining it, he called the curator of a prestigious natural-history museum:

- I've just discovered a 3,000 year-old mummy of a man who died of heart failure! - the excited scientist exclaimed.

To which the curator replied:

- Bring him in. We'll check it out.

A week later, the amazed curator called the archaeologist:

- You were right about the mummy's age and cause of death. How in the world did you know?

- Easy. There was a piece of paper in his hand that said, '10,000 Shekels on Goliath'.

Abraham wanted a new suit, so he bought a nice piece of cloth and then tried to locate a tailor. The first tailor he visited looked at the cloth and measured Abraham, then told him the cloth was not enough to make a suit.

Abraham was unhappy with this opinion and sought another tailor. This tailor measured Abraham, then measured the cloth, and then smiled and said:

- There is enough cloth to make a pair of trousers, a coat and a vest, please come back in a week to take your suit.

After a week Abraham came to take his new suit, and saw the tailor's son wearing trousers made of the same cloth. Perplexed, he asked:

- Just how could you make a full suit for me and trousers for your son, when the other tailor could not make a suit only?

- It's very simple - replied the tailor.

- The other tailor has two sons.