Newest jokes

What do you do with a green monster?
→ Put it in the sun until it ripens!

How do you stop a monster digging up your garden?
→ Take his spade away.

What should you do if a monster runs through your front door?
→ Run through the back door.

What's big, heavy, furry, dangerous and has sixteen wheels?
→ A monster on roller-skates.

- Mr Monster: Oi, hurry up with my supper.

- Mrs Monster: Oh, do be quiet I've only got three pairs of hands.

On her annual visit to another planet, an old lady turns to the cabin steward and says:

- I hope this spaceship doesn't travel faster than sound.

- Why? - replies the cabin steward.

- Because my friend and I want to talk, that's why.

What happened when the monster stole a bottle of perfume?
→ He was convicted of fragrancy.

Why did the monster take his nose apart?
→ To see what made it run.

Did you hear about the Irish monster who went to night school to learn to read in the dark?

What do you get if you cross a tall green monster with a fountain pen?
→ The Ink-credible Hulk.