Newest jokes

Democrats do much of their shopping at Target and Wal-Mart.
So do Republicans, but they don't admit it.

When not in stores, Republicans shop from a catalog.
Democrats watch for "incredible TV offers" on late night television.

Who do they get for Babe the pig's dangerous movie scenes?
→ A stunt ham.

The teacher was furious with her son:

- Just because you've been put in my class, there's no need to think you can take liberties. You're a pig.

The boy said nothing.

- Well! Do you know what a pig is?

- Yes, Mom - said the boy.

- The offspring of a swine.

What do you get when you cross a pig with a billy goat?
→ A crashing bore.

Why do pigs never recover from illness?
→ Because you have to kill them before you cure them!

What kind of tie does a pig wear?
→ Pig's tie!

What do you get if you cross pigs with a lot of grapes?
→ A swine gut!

What did the pig call a manuscript?
→ A shoat story.

What famous pig actor made a movie about Frankenswine?
→ Boaris Karloff.