Politically Correct Goofy

Politically Correct ways to tell someone they are goofy:

• A few clowns short of a circus.
• A few fries short of a happy meal.
• The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
• All foam, no beer.
• The butter has slipped off his pancake.
• The cheese slid off his cracker.
• Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
• Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
• Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
• He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
• As smart as bait.
• Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
• Her sewing machine's out of thread.
• One fruit loop shy of a full bowl.
• Her antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
• His belt doesn't go through all the loops.
• Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.
• Receiver is off the hook.
• Not wired to code.
• Skylight leaks a little.
• Her slinky's kinked.
• Too much yardage between the goal posts.
• Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold them together.
• A photographic memory, but the lens cover is on.
• During evolution his ancestors were in the control group.
• Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
• Is so dense, light bends around her.
• If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.
• Standing close to her, you can hear the ocean.
• Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but he just gargled.
• She stayed on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long.

Other funnies...

Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.

• I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.
• Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
• He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
• A day without sunshine is like, well night.
• On the other hand, you have different fingers.
• Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
• Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?
• I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
• When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
• Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
• Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
• I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
• He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged.
• She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the Juneflower.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

• I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
• Honk if you love peace and quiet.
• Pardon my driving, I am reloading.
• Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
• Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.