Politically Correct Goofy

Politically Correct ways to tell someone they are goofy:

- A few clowns short of a circus.

- A few fries short of a happy meal.

- The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.

- All foam, no beer.

- The butter has slipped off his pancake.

- The cheese slid off his cracker.

- Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.

- Warning: Objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.

- Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

- He fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.

- As smart as bait.

- Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.

- Her sewing machine's out of thread.

- One fruit loop shy of a full bowl.

- Her antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.

- His belt doesn't go through all the loops.

- Proof that evolution CAN go in reverse.

- Receiver is off the hook.

- Not wired to code.

- Skylight leaks a little.

- Her slinky's kinked.

- Too much yardage between the goal posts.

- Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold them together.

- A photographic memory, but the lens cover is on.

- During evolution his ancestors were in the control group.

- Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

- Is so dense, light bends around her.

- If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.

- Standing close to her, you can hear the ocean.

- Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, but he just gargled.

- She stayed on the Tilt-A-Whirl a bit too long.

Other funnies...

Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope.

- I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.

- Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

- He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

- A day without sunshine is like, well night.

- On the other hand, you have different fingers.

- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

- Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?

- I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

- When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.

- Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.

- Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

- I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.

- He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged.

- She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the Juneflower.

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

- I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.

- Honk if you love peace and quiet.

- Pardon my driving, I am reloading.

- Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?

- Nothing is fool-proof to a sufficiently talented fool.