What Is a Teenager

By Bill Adler

A Teenager is...

• A person who can't remember to walk the dog but never forgets a phone number..
• A weight watcher who goes on a diet by giving up candy bars before breakfast..
• A youngster who receives his/her allowance on Monday, spends it on Tuesday, and borrows from his/her best friend on Wednesday.
• Someone who can hear a song by Madonna played three blocks away but not his mother calling from the next room.
• A whiz who can operate the latest computer without a lesson but can't make a bed.
• A student who will spend 12 minutes studying for her history exam and 12 hours for her driver's license.
• A youngster who is well informed about anything he doesn't have to study.
• An enthusiast who has the energy to ride a bike for miles, but is usually too tired to dry the dishes.
• A connoisseur of two kinds of fine music: Loud and Very Loud.
• A young woman who loves the cat and tolerates her brother.
• A person who is always late for dinner but always on time for a Michael Jackson concert.
• A romantic who never falls in love more than once a week.
• A budding beauty who never smiles until her braces come off.
• A boy who can sleep until noon on any Saturday when he suspects the lawn needs mowing.
• An original thinker who is positive that her mother was never a teenager.