Fart Horoscope

Pick the day you were born on to see what kind of fart you are.

1. AMBITIOUS - Always ready for a fart.
2. LAZY - Just fizzles
3. AMIABLE - Likes to smell others farts
4. SELFISH - Only enjoys smelling own farts
5. CARELESS - Farts in church
6. SMART ALEC - Farts when ladies are present.
7. CLEVER - Farts and coughs at same time
8. SCIENTIFIC - Bottles own farts
9. STINGY - Belches instead of farting to save asshole
10. FOOLISH - Farts and laughs.
11. SHY - Blushes even when farts silently.
12. CONCEITED - Thinks they can fart loudest.
13. UNLUCKY - Tries to fart and shits pants.
14. TIMID - Jumps when farting.
15. BEWILDERED - can't tell own farts from others.
16. SLOVENLY - Farts and fizzles, rots pants.
17. NERVOUS - Stops in middle of fart.
18. MISERABLE - Can't fart
19. CONFUSED - Face looks so much like ass, Farts don't know where to go.
20. GROUCH - Grumbles when ladies fart.
21. SNEAKY - Farts and blames it on the dog.
22. DISAPPOINTED - Their farts don't stink.
23. FRESH GUY - Jumps in front of you and farts.
24. BIG BULLY - Farts louder than everyone else.
25. DELUDED - Enjoys all farts thinking they are their own.
26. CUTE - Discovers from farts what others have eaten.
27. WISE - Farts and say's "Who in hell shit ??"
28. DAMNED MEAN - Farts in bed and pulls covers over wife's head.
29. MUSICAL - Tenor or bass
    Clear as a bell
    Smells like shit
    Sounds like hell.
30. HONEST - Farts and blames in on the hostess.
31. LIVELY - Jumps in air, farts three times, kicks like hell simultaneously.