Short Lawyer Jokes V

What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?
→ When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.

What is the definition of a "crying shame"?
→ There was an empty seat.

What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?
→ An offer you can't understand.

Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?
→ From chasing parked ambulances.

Where can you find a good lawyer?
→ In the cemetery.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a gigolo?
→ A gigolo only screws one person at a time.

What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
→ A vampire only sucks blood at night.

If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don't you swerve to hit him?
→ It might be your bicycle.

Why do they bury lawyers under 20 feet of dirt?
→ Because deep down, they're really good people.

What does a lawyer use for birth-control?
→ His personality.

What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?
→ Stick his bill up his ass.