Heard During Surgery

Things you don't want to hear during surgery:

- Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.

- Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop

- Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness

- Spot! Spot! Come back with that! Bad Dog!

- Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?

- Hand me that...uh...that...uh.....thingie

- Oh no! I just lost my Rolex.

- Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?

- Damn, there go the lights again...

- Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two of 'em.

- Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!

- Could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off.

- What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change...!

- Anyone see where I left that scalpel?

- This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?

- Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donor card?

- Don't worry; I think it's sharp enough.

- What do you mean "You want a divorce"!

- She's gonna blow! Everyone take cover!!!

- FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out of here!