Advice From Kids

- Never trust a dog to watch your food.

- When your dad is mad and asks you, 'Do I look stupid?' don't answer.

- Never tell your mom her diet's not working.

- Stay away from prunes.

- Never pee on an electric fence.

- Don't squat with your spurs on.

- Don't pull dad's finger when he tells you to.

- When your mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.

- Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment.

- Don't sneeze in front of mum when you're eating crackers.

- Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a Tic-Tac.

- Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time.

- You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.

- Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.

- If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse.

- Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick.

- Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat.

- When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone.

- Never try to baptize a cat.