More Warning Signs

  • On a cardboard windshield sun shade: "Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place" (why...a duh!)
  • On an infant's bathtub: Do not throw baby out with bath water. (ah-ha! So that's what happened to my little sister!)
  • On a Magic 8 Ball: Not advised for use as a home pregnancy test. (oh sure...now they tell me!)
  • On a roll of Life Savers: Not for use as a flotation device. (aye matey...but the sharks love 'em!)
  • On a disposable razor: Do not use this product during an earthquake.
  • On a handgun: Not recommended for use as a nutcracker.
  • On pantyhose: Not to be used in the commission of a felony. (well that's just great...now what do I use!)
  • On a Pentium chip: If this product exhibits errors, the manufacturer will replace it for a $2- shipping and a $3-handling charge, for a total of $4.97. (now you know WHY there was a Y2K bug!)
  • On a palm sander: Not to be used to sand palms.
  • On a blender: Not for use as an aquarium. (he-he... I gotta try this one!)
  • On syrup of ipecac: Caution: May cause vomiting.
  • On a revolving door: Passenger compartments for individual use only.
  • On children's alphabet blocks: Letters may be used to construct words, phrases and sentences that may be deemed offensive. (hmmm... I think I'll test this one out on my nephews :)
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