Signs Your Car Is A Lemon

  • Motor Trend never mentioned a "Chevrolet Caca."
  • Manufactured in Zchkynk, Crzyktjkystan.
  • Passenger-side "airbag" is actually Rush Limbaugh crammed inside your glove box.
  • Two Words: Pontiac Sunkist
  • Changing the pre-set radio stations voids the warranty.
  • Oil spills on your driveway prompt a visit from Greenpeace.
  • Car has spent more time on "60 Minutes" than on the road.
  • Disqualified from Soapbox Derby for lack of structural integrity.
  • Turn on the wipers and two guys climb out of the trunk with squeegees.
  • Disqualified from Soapbox Derby for lack of structural integrity.
  • Bicycle pump required to inflate airbags.
  • "Jaws of Life" in trunk.
  • The hood ornament? An ostrich with its head in the sand.
  • When you sit behind the wheel, a nerdy billionaire voice asks, "Where do you want to go today?"
  • You realize too late that it is your father's Oldsmobile.
  • Ralph Nader's home phone number written on dashboard.
  • The telltale green-and-yellow-make-blue Zip-Lok seals on your air bags.
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